Hood Rich Hustla Vs P.O.O.R. Alien

So this week at Cyber Slam it will be the Hood Rich Hustla Vs the P.O.O.R. Alien. I really don't care what you have to say Dylan because you've been P.O.O.R. your entire life so why the fuck would anybody expect things to suddenly change now? Come on man your first main event in the PWE was back at Solitary 12 and we just finished off Solitary 56! You were here long before I was however we haven't even hit my one year anniversary here in the PWE and I've already accomplished more than you probably ever will. At the one month mark here in the PWE I was the PWE Vicious Champion, at the two month mark in PWE I fought RW Randolph to a draw at Clash Of The Champions, A MATCH YOU WERE IN! Month three of my PWE career saw me retire R.W. Randolph from in ring competition and saw me become the PWE Universal Champion. From then until now there have been a long line of wannabes and never weres who have challenged me for my PWE Universal title but they all fell short and allowed me to destroy Tomoko Hannahara's record for longest PWE Universal Title run. Tell me Dylan, what have you done? Oh wait, you’ve managed to hold on to the PWE Gateway Championship longer than anybody else in PWE history. Congratulations Dylan, you’ve managed to dominate against the garbage of the PWE because nobody worth a damn cares about the PWE Gateway Title.


Seriously, when was the last time somebody like Aidan Collins came into the PWE gunning for a PWE Gateway Title shot? NEVER! Dylan you’ve been here a long time and you’ve had opportunities to TRUELY become the center of the PWE Universe and rise above the your status as Gateway Champion. The problem is that you couldn’t, I said it earlier, you’re P.O.O.R. Passing Over Opportunities Repeatedly. At Clash Of The Champions you had a chance to become Universal Champion but you failed and your own stupidity kept you out of the Road To Glory Tournament. Those are two golden opportunities for you to become PWE Universal Champion that you failed to capitalize on, why?

I can’t believe I’m about to do this but I’ve got to agree with R.W. Randolph, the Universal Championship spotlight burns to bright for your pasty white skin to handle. As the number two champion you’re the best the PWE has ever had but when it comes time for you to step out of the shadows of the Gateway Title division and into the spotlight you burn up like a traditional Vampire in sunlight. Meanwhile Dylan when I step into the spotlight I shine like one of those faggity Twilight vampires.


Dylan your in ring short comings aren’t the only reason you’re pathetic, you try to degrade everybody with you’re superior life-form center of the universes rhetoric but a few months ago weren’t you fighting for the right to use your own name? So you're telling me for as long as you have been a wrestler you've gone shopping, cooked the food, and put it in front of your employers but they never let you sit down and eat with them? How much of a fuckin moron do you have to be to go that long not knowing the industry was bending you over and raping the shit out of you? On the other hand Dylan you might have liked that since your entrance music is Princes Of The Universe by Queen. Really Cage? Really? That song doesn't scream "Hello I'm A Space Alien" nah its more like "Hello I Pack Fudge".





The name of the the band is QUEEN, Freddie Mercury is perhaps one of the biggest flamers I've ever seen in my life and J-Dub is my cousin. Not only that but the dude died of aids, hmm wonder why. Also Cage don’t you call yourself "Rocket Man", hmm wonder where you got that from.....





You’re supposed to be the bad guy? You’re supposed to be the mega heel everybody hates? No Dylan they don’t hate you, they just think you’re corny and a little gay too. Rocket Man? When are you going to grow the fuck up and realize nobody wants to hear that fake shit. Seriously if people gave a shit about wannabe space aliens then Max Moon would have been WWE World Champion and Shawn Staziak might have been able to do the same, after all the guy did come from Planet Staziak. Dylan I‘m not real good with this whole Alein thing unless you’re talking about Mexicans, so why don’t you help me out here. Is Planet Staziak near Planet Cage in the bullshit galaxy? Or does Planet Cage reside in the “I Rip Mutha Fuckas Off” Nebula? Apparently originality isn’t your strong suite, you must have learned how to imitate humans from a douche bag like Ric Tatum. Dylan inside the ring and outside the ring I’m the real deal while your the complete opposite. This week I’m going to show you and everybody else that you will always be the center of the PWE universe while I’m the pinnacle of the PWE universe.