9:47 AM
Dorkvahkiin
Our scene opens in a dimly lit room except for a small red glow, suddenly a light turns on to reveal that the red glow was the cherry of K-Money’s cigarette. As K-Money takes a few more drags from his cigarette the camera pans up and down his body to reveal his throwback attire. No not a throwback like a football jersey, a throwback to the days when he was on the street corner flippin bricks and bodyin niggas. It’s a black hoodie unzipped in the front with a yellow crown on both sides of the hood, the Latin Kings crown. Underneath the hoodie is a black t-shirt with a a yellow cross that reads “Latin King Familia”, K-Money also has on a pair of black jeans, and last but not least is a pair of black nikes with yellow swooshes and yellow shoe strings. The camera now pans around to give us a better view of the room as K-Money takes some more drags off of his cigarette. As the camera pans around you can’t help but wonder where the fuck K-Money is and what the fuck is he doing there. It looks as though nobody has been in this room in years, dust covers everything and the ceiling and walls have both been ravaged by water damage. On every wall in the room there are large wooden trunks, K-Money pulls a key chain from his pocket and opens up one of the wooden trunks revealing several small steel trunks inside all different sizes. K-Money reaches down and grabs two of the smaller cases which have a logo of a skull with a blunt in its mouth on them. K-Money fumbles through the key chain and opens up the two cases, inside are two baby desert eagles. If you just wondered why he has two birds in cases, please feel free to slam you head into the nearest wall, I’ll wait, no....seriously. K-Money holds one of the guns in each hand looking down at them like he has just been reunited with a couple of long lost friends.
K-Money: Bling, expensive clothes, cars, all that stupid stuff these “gangstas” get excited about is bullshit. The shit I get excited about, well your looking at it, if these jeans weren’t so baggy then you could probably see the fuckin boner I’ve got right now. It’s been a while since The Amityville Assassin has been able to clip up and go to war because none of these other mutha fuckas are on that street shit anymore. Oh sure, they want to talk about shit that I did years ago and act like they were responsible for it but the truth of the matter is that without me these mutha fuckas wouldn’t know what a fuckin “gangsta” was. Let me get off this gangsta shit for a minute though and talk about this wrestling shit. Before I start murdering Blizzard I gotta point something out, throughout K-Money’s entire life, I was there but I was only part of the equation. For years I’ve played the strongest part of K-Money’s backbone but I’ve been limited because of the spineless jellyfish I’ve been surrounded by. You’ve all seen some of the things that I’ve had to deal with, Nigga Man? The Toxic Messiah? A fuckin emotional pain addict and the stupidest fuckin super hero on the planet. The saddest part about it is that they aren’t even the worst ones, at least Nigga Man tells the truth and Toxic Messiah can take a beating and keep on going which is more than I can say about the other jackasses in here battling for the ultimate prize, control. The point I’m trying to make here is as much as I despise it, to make things less confusing for everybody watching I’ll try to speak in general terms. Instead of going into detail about which part of K-Money’s personality was actually in control, I’ll just take one for the team and claim that the wins and losses were against me because after all I was there in some capacity even if I wasn’t in complete control.
The Amityville Assassin finishes off his cigarette and shakes his head.
Amityville Assassin: You know for some reason the XWF likes to try and downplay how much of a fuckin impact I had during my time there. Did I win a Universal Title, no I didn't but I sure as hell gave birth to the gimmick that made Gecko a household name and carried him to a Universal Title victory. Up until I came along Gecko was just some mid card asshole wondering what life would be like if he'd had enough oxygen at birth. One day though the gods smiled down on him when the XWF decided to book him in a match with me, yeah usually when people get booked in a match with me the gods are punishing them but this time that wasn’t the case. Of course I won, however in one of my promos for that match I had quite a lengthy conversation WITH MYSELF! Up until that point the Gecko was perfectly sane but after facing me he suddenly started having conversations with himself and trying to basically mimic what he had seen me do he suddenly developed a habit of talking to himself. See before he was booked in that match with me Gecko had the fuckin personality of a wet sponge but after that match he magically got a personality, MINE!
Next up there was Rage who I unmercifully raped using my patented hilarious commercials, not long after that I took a lenghty leave of absence from the XWF. When I returned to the XWF a few months ago what do I find Rage doing? Well he was also TRYING to imitate me just as Gecko had done before except nobody was buying Rage's half assed attempts at making a K-Money commercial. So if you’re keeping count at home that's already two people I’ve had to have surgically removed from my nuts during my XWF career but there is still one more who is hanging from my nuts so hard that if I didn’t have balls of steel he’d probably be ripping my mutha fuckin sack right now.
Of course I’m talking about Aidan "Blizzard" Collins who had spent most of his career demonstrating why some animals eat their own children. Yet suddenly he found his niche, he found his devastating weapon of choice, he found his "Quote Crusher". Let's get something straight right now, their is nothing original or special about Aidan's little "Quote Crusher", nah it's just another idea that some no talent swagga jackin mutha fucka decided to steal from me. See before Aidan's little "Quote Crusher" I cut promos just like that basically on a weekly basis but I didn't have a cute little name for it like "Quote Crusher", I just called it ripping my opponent a new fucking asshole. Blizzard is just like Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia, yeah, they’re kinda funny...when they use other peoples material and put there own faggity little spin on it. However if they didn’t steal other people’s shit then nobody would have ever heard of them. To be honest I kind of feel like a father to Blizzard, Gecko, and Rage. I feel like a father who wishes that his baby momma didn’t snort coke during all three pregnancies but a father nonetheless. Blizzard as the father of your fuckin career what I’m about to do to you is really going to hurt me. As a matter of fact... okay, I can’t like to you like that son, this shit is gonna hurt you a lot more than its going to hurt me. Now go find me a switch because daddy is about to WHIP YOUR FUCKING ASS.
May 9th 2010 State Penn Promo
As I progressed, I moved right past Kid Money. I won the World Title from him, I took the tag titles from him. I went on and became Universal Champion.. He never even challenged for that belt, he never reached that level.
August 4th 2010
Speaking of feeling bad, I bet Kid Money feels terrible that I'm in PWE. I beat him for the Cruiserweight Title in the XWF, the Tag Titles in the XWF, for the World Title in the XWF. Shit, if the midget ever had the talent to win the XWF Universal Title, I probably would of won that from him, too.
Amityville Assassin: You know it’s moments like these that makes me understand what Chris Benoit did. If I was your real father and not just your metaphorical father I’d probably drink a thousands beers then kill you and your mother before I offed myself too. Come on Blizz are you really telling me that out of thousands sperm, you were the fastest? Jesus Christ, the race to fertilize your mother’s egg must have been like the sperm Special Olympics, yeah Blizz you won but did you really? In both of your PWE promos you've already managed to say the same shit twice, if the same crap pops up in your next promo I think I'll just go ahead and change your name to Ric Tatum. I understand that your promos were never that fuckin great or original to begin with but I at least gave you credit for being better than the Enforcers and Brad Pierces of the world . What the fuck are you gonna next come at me with a lame ass gangsta parody that hasn't been done by EVERYBODY I've ever faced? Getting back to that pile of Drake Komodo you call an insult, do you see it yet, think closely about what you said, has it sunk in or has the years of making up bullshit to stuff into your promos rendered you unable to tell the difference between reality and shit you made up to look good? See that has always been the one thing I don’t understand about you , I’ve never seen how anybody could ever take you seriously when 99% of the shit that comes out of your fucking mouth isn’t true. I want you to pay close attention to me Blizz because this next part is important, besides you shouldn’t be letting your mind wander anyway; it’s way too small to be left on its own. Ok, here we go Blizz, you payin attention? YOU NEVER BEAT ME FOR THE CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE YOU IRRELEVANT CUNT!!! Twice you had an opportunity to beat me for the XWF Cruiserweight Title and twice YOU FAILED!
K-Money: Bling, expensive clothes, cars, all that stupid stuff these “gangstas” get excited about is bullshit. The shit I get excited about, well your looking at it, if these jeans weren’t so baggy then you could probably see the fuckin boner I’ve got right now. It’s been a while since The Amityville Assassin has been able to clip up and go to war because none of these other mutha fuckas are on that street shit anymore. Oh sure, they want to talk about shit that I did years ago and act like they were responsible for it but the truth of the matter is that without me these mutha fuckas wouldn’t know what a fuckin “gangsta” was. Let me get off this gangsta shit for a minute though and talk about this wrestling shit. Before I start murdering Blizzard I gotta point something out, throughout K-Money’s entire life, I was there but I was only part of the equation. For years I’ve played the strongest part of K-Money’s backbone but I’ve been limited because of the spineless jellyfish I’ve been surrounded by. You’ve all seen some of the things that I’ve had to deal with, Nigga Man? The Toxic Messiah? A fuckin emotional pain addict and the stupidest fuckin super hero on the planet. The saddest part about it is that they aren’t even the worst ones, at least Nigga Man tells the truth and Toxic Messiah can take a beating and keep on going which is more than I can say about the other jackasses in here battling for the ultimate prize, control. The point I’m trying to make here is as much as I despise it, to make things less confusing for everybody watching I’ll try to speak in general terms. Instead of going into detail about which part of K-Money’s personality was actually in control, I’ll just take one for the team and claim that the wins and losses were against me because after all I was there in some capacity even if I wasn’t in complete control.
The Amityville Assassin finishes off his cigarette and shakes his head.
Amityville Assassin: You know for some reason the XWF likes to try and downplay how much of a fuckin impact I had during my time there. Did I win a Universal Title, no I didn't but I sure as hell gave birth to the gimmick that made Gecko a household name and carried him to a Universal Title victory. Up until I came along Gecko was just some mid card asshole wondering what life would be like if he'd had enough oxygen at birth. One day though the gods smiled down on him when the XWF decided to book him in a match with me, yeah usually when people get booked in a match with me the gods are punishing them but this time that wasn’t the case. Of course I won, however in one of my promos for that match I had quite a lengthy conversation WITH MYSELF! Up until that point the Gecko was perfectly sane but after facing me he suddenly started having conversations with himself and trying to basically mimic what he had seen me do he suddenly developed a habit of talking to himself. See before he was booked in that match with me Gecko had the fuckin personality of a wet sponge but after that match he magically got a personality, MINE!
Next up there was Rage who I unmercifully raped using my patented hilarious commercials, not long after that I took a lenghty leave of absence from the XWF. When I returned to the XWF a few months ago what do I find Rage doing? Well he was also TRYING to imitate me just as Gecko had done before except nobody was buying Rage's half assed attempts at making a K-Money commercial. So if you’re keeping count at home that's already two people I’ve had to have surgically removed from my nuts during my XWF career but there is still one more who is hanging from my nuts so hard that if I didn’t have balls of steel he’d probably be ripping my mutha fuckin sack right now.
Of course I’m talking about Aidan "Blizzard" Collins who had spent most of his career demonstrating why some animals eat their own children. Yet suddenly he found his niche, he found his devastating weapon of choice, he found his "Quote Crusher". Let's get something straight right now, their is nothing original or special about Aidan's little "Quote Crusher", nah it's just another idea that some no talent swagga jackin mutha fucka decided to steal from me. See before Aidan's little "Quote Crusher" I cut promos just like that basically on a weekly basis but I didn't have a cute little name for it like "Quote Crusher", I just called it ripping my opponent a new fucking asshole. Blizzard is just like Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia, yeah, they’re kinda funny...when they use other peoples material and put there own faggity little spin on it. However if they didn’t steal other people’s shit then nobody would have ever heard of them. To be honest I kind of feel like a father to Blizzard, Gecko, and Rage. I feel like a father who wishes that his baby momma didn’t snort coke during all three pregnancies but a father nonetheless. Blizzard as the father of your fuckin career what I’m about to do to you is really going to hurt me. As a matter of fact... okay, I can’t like to you like that son, this shit is gonna hurt you a lot more than its going to hurt me. Now go find me a switch because daddy is about to WHIP YOUR FUCKING ASS.
May 9th 2010 State Penn Promo
As I progressed, I moved right past Kid Money. I won the World Title from him, I took the tag titles from him. I went on and became Universal Champion.. He never even challenged for that belt, he never reached that level.
August 4th 2010
Speaking of feeling bad, I bet Kid Money feels terrible that I'm in PWE. I beat him for the Cruiserweight Title in the XWF, the Tag Titles in the XWF, for the World Title in the XWF. Shit, if the midget ever had the talent to win the XWF Universal Title, I probably would of won that from him, too.
Amityville Assassin: You know it’s moments like these that makes me understand what Chris Benoit did. If I was your real father and not just your metaphorical father I’d probably drink a thousands beers then kill you and your mother before I offed myself too. Come on Blizz are you really telling me that out of thousands sperm, you were the fastest? Jesus Christ, the race to fertilize your mother’s egg must have been like the sperm Special Olympics, yeah Blizz you won but did you really? In both of your PWE promos you've already managed to say the same shit twice, if the same crap pops up in your next promo I think I'll just go ahead and change your name to Ric Tatum. I understand that your promos were never that fuckin great or original to begin with but I at least gave you credit for being better than the Enforcers and Brad Pierces of the world . What the fuck are you gonna next come at me with a lame ass gangsta parody that hasn't been done by EVERYBODY I've ever faced? Getting back to that pile of Drake Komodo you call an insult, do you see it yet, think closely about what you said, has it sunk in or has the years of making up bullshit to stuff into your promos rendered you unable to tell the difference between reality and shit you made up to look good? See that has always been the one thing I don’t understand about you , I’ve never seen how anybody could ever take you seriously when 99% of the shit that comes out of your fucking mouth isn’t true. I want you to pay close attention to me Blizz because this next part is important, besides you shouldn’t be letting your mind wander anyway; it’s way too small to be left on its own. Ok, here we go Blizz, you payin attention? YOU NEVER BEAT ME FOR THE CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE YOU IRRELEVANT CUNT!!! Twice you had an opportunity to beat me for the XWF Cruiserweight Title and twice YOU FAILED!
Come on you worthless douche bag did you actually think you could step up to the plate against me with some half assed bullshit and I wouldn’t absolutely crucify you for it? My glory days may be long behind me asshole but trust me when I say that there is enough gas left in the tank to demolish a piece of human garbage like you a billion times over. Speaking of human garbage, how about we talk about your old buddy Jon Brown for a second. See Blizz you wanna say that I never reached Universal Title contention but I was offered a Universal Title shot. The only problem with that was that at the time T-Money was the XWF Universal Champion and Blood Hounds don’t fight Blood Hounds. Personally I was the devil sitting on the shoulder saying that we should take the shot but I got overruled by all my spineless counterparts. For some odd reason these other mutha fuckas have a soft spot for honor, loyalty and all that other gay shit. Blizz I'm sure you know what I'm talking about because if your real father would have pulled out of your mother’s blue waffle as fast as you pulled out of the Team Cash Vs Team Raven match I probably wouldn't be fighting the biggest mistake of their lives at Summer Slaughter. Oh and for the record, if it would have been me in complete control then I would have taken the title shot against T-Money instead of taking a XWF World Title shot and I WOULDA FUCKIN CRUSHED HIM!
I gotta say though Blizz other than your moronic venture into the land reality forgot, you are 100% right. Yes Blizz you did beat me for the XWF World Title, yes Blizz you did beat me for the XWF Tag Titles, and yes Blizz those are part of the reason your inferiority complex is fully justified. Jesus Christ man, its like you had an epiphany of stupid when you thought up this shit, you lead in with a lie and then conveniently omit some very important facts about your other wins over me. Take your world title win against me for example, you remember that night right Blizz? You know, the night I HAD to drop the world title to somebody, ANYBODY in order to become Anarchy GM. Apparently you feel pretty damn good about me HANDING you the XWF World Heavyweight title on a silver platter though which goes to show you exactly why monkeys look down on you and I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. It could have been anybody that I GAVE the XWF World Title to, for all I cared it could have been Peter Gilmour’s retarded brother...Peter Gilmour. However at the end of the day it wasn’t, you were the one who lucked up and won K-Money’s grand prize giveaway of one XWF World Title. Congratulations Blizz, you can now associate yourself with every other halfwit pillow biter out there who didn’t work for shit and just kept on playing them “numbers” every day hoping god would bless them with enough money to get their teeth fixed and buy a case of Bud Light, you’re welcome.
Well I guess that leaves only one glimmering accomplishment on Blizz’s resume of kicking my ass, the XWF Tag Titles. Out of all of your bullshit wins against me this one is by far the easiest to explain and the fact that you continue to even bring it up makes me wonder if the PWE gave you a pass to park in the handicap spaces when you signed your contract. Just like everything else that happened in my career, I remember that match like it was yesterday and like every other victory you had over me it was shrouded in bullshit. Both me and T-Money were on our way out of the XWF and good old Jon Brown knew that so what does he do for our last match? He sets up a XWF Tag Title match putting The Blood Hounds up against Drake Komodo and Blizzard. Do I even need to say anything else, well yeah I guess I do since your idea of logic rivals ex President Bush, god it still feels good to say that. Tell me this Blizzard when was the last time you won a title when the owner of the federation KNEW it was going to be your last match? Hell lets take it one step further, when was the last time you saw ANYBODY win a title when the owner of a federation KNEW it was going to be their last match? Congratulations fucktard you've got a knack for beating me in matches that I don't give a shit about, what do you want a fucking medal for being a leech? You wanna talk down on Centurion but you're just like him, you two jerk offs don't win titles because you're good, you win because all of the good wrestlers are leaving or have left. At this point Aidan you're probably jumping up and down screaming at the top of your lungs about how you pinned me in the State Penn match, again, REALLY?
I gotta say though Blizz other than your moronic venture into the land reality forgot, you are 100% right. Yes Blizz you did beat me for the XWF World Title, yes Blizz you did beat me for the XWF Tag Titles, and yes Blizz those are part of the reason your inferiority complex is fully justified. Jesus Christ man, its like you had an epiphany of stupid when you thought up this shit, you lead in with a lie and then conveniently omit some very important facts about your other wins over me. Take your world title win against me for example, you remember that night right Blizz? You know, the night I HAD to drop the world title to somebody, ANYBODY in order to become Anarchy GM. Apparently you feel pretty damn good about me HANDING you the XWF World Heavyweight title on a silver platter though which goes to show you exactly why monkeys look down on you and I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. It could have been anybody that I GAVE the XWF World Title to, for all I cared it could have been Peter Gilmour’s retarded brother...Peter Gilmour. However at the end of the day it wasn’t, you were the one who lucked up and won K-Money’s grand prize giveaway of one XWF World Title. Congratulations Blizz, you can now associate yourself with every other halfwit pillow biter out there who didn’t work for shit and just kept on playing them “numbers” every day hoping god would bless them with enough money to get their teeth fixed and buy a case of Bud Light, you’re welcome.
Well I guess that leaves only one glimmering accomplishment on Blizz’s resume of kicking my ass, the XWF Tag Titles. Out of all of your bullshit wins against me this one is by far the easiest to explain and the fact that you continue to even bring it up makes me wonder if the PWE gave you a pass to park in the handicap spaces when you signed your contract. Just like everything else that happened in my career, I remember that match like it was yesterday and like every other victory you had over me it was shrouded in bullshit. Both me and T-Money were on our way out of the XWF and good old Jon Brown knew that so what does he do for our last match? He sets up a XWF Tag Title match putting The Blood Hounds up against Drake Komodo and Blizzard. Do I even need to say anything else, well yeah I guess I do since your idea of logic rivals ex President Bush, god it still feels good to say that. Tell me this Blizzard when was the last time you won a title when the owner of the federation KNEW it was going to be your last match? Hell lets take it one step further, when was the last time you saw ANYBODY win a title when the owner of a federation KNEW it was going to be their last match? Congratulations fucktard you've got a knack for beating me in matches that I don't give a shit about, what do you want a fucking medal for being a leech? You wanna talk down on Centurion but you're just like him, you two jerk offs don't win titles because you're good, you win because all of the good wrestlers are leaving or have left. At this point Aidan you're probably jumping up and down screaming at the top of your lungs about how you pinned me in the State Penn match, again, REALLY?
You pinned me in yet another match that I didn't give a shit about not to mention I didn't even know I was in the damn match until a a few days before the show because me being in that match made absolutely no sense. Honestly what the fuck would I have gotten if I would have won the State Penn match? A shot at the PWE Universal Title, um hello, I'M ALREADY PWE UNIVERSAL CHAMPION!Even with me suffering from the concussions HHH gave me the night before and even as idiotic as me being in that match was I still went out there and outlasted 90% of the people that were in it. So go ahead and cling to the fact that you were able to get a meaningless pinfall over me like you try to cling to your persona of a hot shot who bangs models on a daily basis when we all know the only women that would have sex with a disgusting little twat like you are the ones nobody else wants to fuck anyway. When it comes to wrestling though Aidan, if I were you, I'd be pretty fuckin worried right about now because to me it looks to me like every time I gave a shit about beating you, I DID!
May 9th 2010 State Penn Promo
Kid and I had our fair share of wars over the in the XWF. I'm sure that midget beaner will be quick to tell you that he's defeated me... and he has.
Blizz you're kind of like the heel version of Mick Foley, Mick liked to get a cheap pop by saying the name of whatever city he was in. You on the other hand are looking for some cheap heat by rattling off racial slurs. The sad part about it is that you don't even have the fuckin balls to go for the gusto. Come on Blizz where the fuck are your cojones? JEN JETSON HAS BIGGER BALLS THAN YOU! At least she stepped out with some slurs that had force behind them. Spicc, wetback, nigger, you name it and that white trash gutter slut used it. Jen brought out the fuckin big guns but while Jen Jetson had the balls to do that, Blizzard, just beaner. It doesn’t matter which one you use fucktard, they all make you a little racist prick. Come on faggot ask me if I like mutha fuckin fried chicken, make a crack about me drinkin some fuckin kool aid, tell me to cut your damn grass, say that you say me and my family rolling 20 deep in a van at home depot, I DON’T GIVE A FUCK!
May 9th 2010 State Penn Promo
Kid and I had our fair share of wars over the in the XWF. I'm sure that midget beaner will be quick to tell you that he's defeated me... and he has.
Blizz you're kind of like the heel version of Mick Foley, Mick liked to get a cheap pop by saying the name of whatever city he was in. You on the other hand are looking for some cheap heat by rattling off racial slurs. The sad part about it is that you don't even have the fuckin balls to go for the gusto. Come on Blizz where the fuck are your cojones? JEN JETSON HAS BIGGER BALLS THAN YOU! At least she stepped out with some slurs that had force behind them. Spicc, wetback, nigger, you name it and that white trash gutter slut used it. Jen brought out the fuckin big guns but while Jen Jetson had the balls to do that, Blizzard, just beaner. It doesn’t matter which one you use fucktard, they all make you a little racist prick. Come on faggot ask me if I like mutha fuckin fried chicken, make a crack about me drinkin some fuckin kool aid, tell me to cut your damn grass, say that you say me and my family rolling 20 deep in a van at home depot, I DON’T GIVE A FUCK!
All that shit does is make your ignorant ass look like somebody who can’t come up with anything better to say, which you can’t, so you have to resort to shit any racist cum stain can say. I would expect that shit from somebody like R.W. Randolph who looks like he could snap and ask you to squeel like a piggy at any moment but not from somebody who isn't from the depths of hell known as the south. However the fact that you want to use the slur that has the least amount of sting to it, it lets me know what your all about Blizz, appearances. You want to make people think your a tough bastard that will say and do whatever the fuck he wants but in reality that guy you're trying to portray isn't you, nah, thats me. I'll tell everybody straight up that if somebody castrated you with a fuckin butter knife I'd probably throw a fuckin party and thank god there wouldn't be any lil Blizzards running around and if you died while they were doing it, WIN, WIN, SITUATION! You on the other hand like to make it appear like thats what your doing but in reality you're pulling your punches because you don't REALLY want to be the bad guy and you don't REALLY want to have people that pissed off at you. First you went for beaner instead of any of the really good slurs and then there was this...
May 9th 2010 State Penn Promo
I'm going stomp on your fucking head, hit you with the Ice Pick so hard that it'll knock you in to the third row, and then hit the Cool Down just for the shits and gigs I'll get knowing that I'm inflicting serious brain damage on your stupid ass. I'm probably going to Famine of the Vile you. And I don't give a fuck.
Amityville Assassin: You know Blizz that's all fine and good but did you do any of that shit? I mean I'm pretty sure I'm still standing, I also like how you didn't have the balls to actually say that you would kill me but hide it behind "I'm PROBABLY going to Famine Of The Vile you". Probably? No Blizz you don't probably kill people, you either do it, or you shut the fuck up. To me it sounds like you spent a little too much time playing Grand Theft Auto and you let that shit go to your head. I HAVE "Famine Of The Viled" people INSIDE and OUTSIDE of the ring and if I do the same thing to you at Summer Slaughter this week then you better believe I'd be there at your wake to piss on your fuckin corpse. What the fuck has happened to you Blizz, like I said I never thought you were that great but at least during our previous wars your were throwing out disses at a 12th grade level. You could never stack up to the gown man hate the Blood Hounds were spewing but at least you were better than most of the brain dead mutha fuckas who think they're promos are the greatest of all time. Now though, it looks like you've regressed big time, I mean if you let Nick Ryan ghost write your shit I probably wouldn't even notice, thats how fuckin horrendous you've gotten Blizz. You let your promo skills deteriorate and your in ring skills are nothing to write home about at this point either.
May 9th 2010 State Penn Promo
At this point, K Money is nothing more than my bitch. I beat his butt buddy, T Money, and everyone knows who wore the pants in the Bloodhounds' romantic relationship. I am not concerned about what Kid Money has to bring to this match because I'm going fucking destroy him.
Amityville Assassin: I’m nothing more than your bitch? Blizz not only did you fall out of the fuckin stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down, I'm almost positive somebody tied you to the back of a truck and drug you through the dumbass forest. Seriously, there is no possible way you got this fuckin stupid on your own, you had to have help along the way. I beat Christian Connelly somewhere between 6 and 92,346 times, I beat that mutha fucka so many times that when he sees me now he starts having flashbacks and screams “ NO MASSA DON’T HIT ME!”. How many times has C2 gotten a win over me, ONCE, UNO, and that was in a stable match where his team had to cheat to win. Don’t say that to him though, he’s proud of accomplishing his dream of finally getting a victory over me, haven’t you ever wondered why he named PWE’s weekly show “Solitary”. Blizzard I know you don’t have the mental capacity to understand words with more than one definition so I’ll narrow it down for you. Solitary, occurring singly and not as part of a group or cluster. See Blizz, what I did to C2, THATS MAKING SOMEBODY YOUR BITCH!
May 9th 2010 State Penn Promo
I'm going stomp on your fucking head, hit you with the Ice Pick so hard that it'll knock you in to the third row, and then hit the Cool Down just for the shits and gigs I'll get knowing that I'm inflicting serious brain damage on your stupid ass. I'm probably going to Famine of the Vile you. And I don't give a fuck.
Amityville Assassin: You know Blizz that's all fine and good but did you do any of that shit? I mean I'm pretty sure I'm still standing, I also like how you didn't have the balls to actually say that you would kill me but hide it behind "I'm PROBABLY going to Famine Of The Vile you". Probably? No Blizz you don't probably kill people, you either do it, or you shut the fuck up. To me it sounds like you spent a little too much time playing Grand Theft Auto and you let that shit go to your head. I HAVE "Famine Of The Viled" people INSIDE and OUTSIDE of the ring and if I do the same thing to you at Summer Slaughter this week then you better believe I'd be there at your wake to piss on your fuckin corpse. What the fuck has happened to you Blizz, like I said I never thought you were that great but at least during our previous wars your were throwing out disses at a 12th grade level. You could never stack up to the gown man hate the Blood Hounds were spewing but at least you were better than most of the brain dead mutha fuckas who think they're promos are the greatest of all time. Now though, it looks like you've regressed big time, I mean if you let Nick Ryan ghost write your shit I probably wouldn't even notice, thats how fuckin horrendous you've gotten Blizz. You let your promo skills deteriorate and your in ring skills are nothing to write home about at this point either.
May 9th 2010 State Penn Promo
At this point, K Money is nothing more than my bitch. I beat his butt buddy, T Money, and everyone knows who wore the pants in the Bloodhounds' romantic relationship. I am not concerned about what Kid Money has to bring to this match because I'm going fucking destroy him.
Amityville Assassin: I’m nothing more than your bitch? Blizz not only did you fall out of the fuckin stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down, I'm almost positive somebody tied you to the back of a truck and drug you through the dumbass forest. Seriously, there is no possible way you got this fuckin stupid on your own, you had to have help along the way. I beat Christian Connelly somewhere between 6 and 92,346 times, I beat that mutha fucka so many times that when he sees me now he starts having flashbacks and screams “ NO MASSA DON’T HIT ME!”. How many times has C2 gotten a win over me, ONCE, UNO, and that was in a stable match where his team had to cheat to win. Don’t say that to him though, he’s proud of accomplishing his dream of finally getting a victory over me, haven’t you ever wondered why he named PWE’s weekly show “Solitary”. Blizzard I know you don’t have the mental capacity to understand words with more than one definition so I’ll narrow it down for you. Solitary, occurring singly and not as part of a group or cluster. See Blizz, what I did to C2, THATS MAKING SOMEBODY YOUR BITCH!
I already explained how you got all of your cheap victories over me and even with me handing you all those wins and all those titles to you going into the State Penn match we were either even or you were up one match. Usually I’d know for sure but I really don’t make it a point to keep track of every match I have against career mid carders like you. This is where Blizzard’s inferiority complex would kick into high gear and he would bring up how he won a Universal Title. To that all I would be able to say is, so did Fred L, Trent Gein, Brad Pierce, Gecko, Golden Boy, Raziel, and Zach Rizza but that doesn’t make them suck any less. If we add Steve Jason, Cyren, Kore, Boondock Saint, Dynamic Dynamite, Christian Connelly, and even you Blizz, then we’ll have a list of MOST of the XWF Universal Champions I’ve beaten. I may not have won an XWF Universal Title Blizz but I’ll put my fucking win/loss record against yours any day and not only will mine smash yours but the quality of opponents I’ve faced compared to what you’ve faced wouldn’t even be close. Seriously if the XWF was the NCAA I would be a USC, a Florida, or a Texas and you would be like a Hawaii, a Missouri, a Texas A&M. See while I was constantly taking on the best and winning you were sitting back collecting wins over weak opponents and even that didn’t work out for you until I GAVE YOU YOUR TITLES. I’m not forgeting about that T-Money joke either nigga its just that I’ve heard that shit used so many times and I’ve responded to it so many fucking times there really is no point in me responding to it anymore. I mean why the fuck am I going to make myself sound like an unonriginal repetitive asshole just because you have to sound like one?
May 9th 2010 State Penn Promo
I mean, what are you even doing competing anymore, Kid? You're washed up and it sucks to see. I remember when you were someone to respect... But now? You have nothing left. You'll probably fall out of this place and then have to compete in lesser and lesser wrestling companies. Do you really want to work house shows in places like Iowa? It's time to quit while you're ahead. It's not safe for you in the ring with me. I was a Legend before I even hit my prime. The prime that I'm still capable of competing in. I'm one of the greatest of all time and you're a washed up “almost was”.
If your strategy is to keep talking so that someday maybe you'll say something intelligent you need to scrap that fuckin game plan and go back to the drawing board. I don't do well in cluster fuck matches and I can admit that, there is so much shit going on that its hard to be fully in control of the match and I useually get taken out by somebody gunning for me while my fuckin back is turned, you know, kinda like what you did in the State Penn match. Cluster fuck matches aside does anybody remember the last time that I was pinned in a singles match? It's been a while so how about I jog everybodys memory, the last person to pin me in a singles match was Kieran King back in december during the X-Mas Xtreme Tournament. You know, the same Kieran King who then won the XWF Heavyweight Title and the XWF Universal Title. So Blizz that's your definintion of washed up? That's your definition of nothing left? NIGGA PLEASE! I'm not the same now as I was back in 2004 but for you or anybody else to say that I'm washed up or that I can't compete at I high level anymore is pure unadulterated bullshit. I intend on proving that when I defend my PWE Universal Title against you at Summer Slaughter and go on to extend my title reign so far that nobody will ever be able to come close to my legacy. That isn't all though, not by a long shot because you see there are still a couple titles that I need to win here in the PWE before I can truely say that I did everything I wanted to do here. I'll be doing one of those things when I team up with Jose Chavez or Rico Suave and we capture the PWE Sin Titles. Aww shit did I just let the pussy out of the Blizz's mom's pants, oh wait that was last night... cat out of the bag, yeah that's the expression I was looking for. What can I say, the SIN division needs an injection of superstar power just like Blizz's mother needed an injection so superstar cock, I didn't disappoint her and I won't disappoint all the fans of the PWE Sin division.
May 9th 2010 State Penn Promo
I mean, what are you even doing competing anymore, Kid? You're washed up and it sucks to see. I remember when you were someone to respect... But now? You have nothing left. You'll probably fall out of this place and then have to compete in lesser and lesser wrestling companies. Do you really want to work house shows in places like Iowa? It's time to quit while you're ahead. It's not safe for you in the ring with me. I was a Legend before I even hit my prime. The prime that I'm still capable of competing in. I'm one of the greatest of all time and you're a washed up “almost was”.
If your strategy is to keep talking so that someday maybe you'll say something intelligent you need to scrap that fuckin game plan and go back to the drawing board. I don't do well in cluster fuck matches and I can admit that, there is so much shit going on that its hard to be fully in control of the match and I useually get taken out by somebody gunning for me while my fuckin back is turned, you know, kinda like what you did in the State Penn match. Cluster fuck matches aside does anybody remember the last time that I was pinned in a singles match? It's been a while so how about I jog everybodys memory, the last person to pin me in a singles match was Kieran King back in december during the X-Mas Xtreme Tournament. You know, the same Kieran King who then won the XWF Heavyweight Title and the XWF Universal Title. So Blizz that's your definintion of washed up? That's your definition of nothing left? NIGGA PLEASE! I'm not the same now as I was back in 2004 but for you or anybody else to say that I'm washed up or that I can't compete at I high level anymore is pure unadulterated bullshit. I intend on proving that when I defend my PWE Universal Title against you at Summer Slaughter and go on to extend my title reign so far that nobody will ever be able to come close to my legacy. That isn't all though, not by a long shot because you see there are still a couple titles that I need to win here in the PWE before I can truely say that I did everything I wanted to do here. I'll be doing one of those things when I team up with Jose Chavez or Rico Suave and we capture the PWE Sin Titles. Aww shit did I just let the pussy out of the Blizz's mom's pants, oh wait that was last night... cat out of the bag, yeah that's the expression I was looking for. What can I say, the SIN division needs an injection of superstar power just like Blizz's mother needed an injection so superstar cock, I didn't disappoint her and I won't disappoint all the fans of the PWE Sin division.
Also after I drop Blizz back off in the port-a-potty he crawled out of it will be Dylan Cage’s turn to step up and get knocked the fuck out. Dylan Cage, you gotta love this guy, I mean there he is reigning supreme at number two but for some odd reason he thinks he’s the best. I’ve heard every little jab you’ve taken at me Dylan and if it hadn’t been for these other assholes I would have responded a lot sooner. What you need to do is worry about why it is that you’re the longest reigning PWE Gateway Champion yet when I was the Vicious Champion I leap frogged your ass and captured the PWE Universal Title and there you are still the Gateway Champion. In other words Dylan, shut the fuck up because If I wanted lip from you, I would scrape it off my zipper. Now, there is no doubt in my mind that you will retain your title against Tanabashi because well, it’s fuckin Tanabashi. So when you get your shot at my title, I’m thinking we make it a belt vs belt match so I can have the fast track of becoming PWE’s grand slam champion.
See Blizz, Iowa, lesser wrestling companies, you got it all wrong because I’m not going anywhere. You'll be seeing me over in the XWF soon enough too Blizz because this year, I'll be the one winning Lord Of The Ring as well as inflating my win/loss record to epic preportions. Yeah, while your stupid ass is trying to make it seem like I'm down and out, I’m just planning what route I’m going to take back to the top. Right now my highway of success runs straight through you. Its kind of ironic isn’t it Blizz, you were born on a highway and now your standing on one with a mack truck headed straight for you. You can run all you want, you can scream all you want, hell you can even hide for all I care but at the end of the day, just like the day you were born, there will be an accident on the highway. At least that’s what I’ll tell the cops when they’re scrapping another pile of shit off of the Amityville Assassin’s highway of success. It's said really, I mean once I'm finished with you Blizz all the PWE fans will think back to our match remember how I proved yet again why I'm one of the greatest of All Time and they'll think about what you almost were.
The Amityville Assassin conceals the two baby eagles he took out earlier and locks up the trunks like they were before. He gets ready to leave and the camera starts to follow, he then he turns back to the camera and grabs it.
Amityville Assassin: Sorry, you can’t go where I’m going
The Amityville Assassin throws the camera to the ground, the next thing we here is POW! POW! POW!.......static.
See Blizz, Iowa, lesser wrestling companies, you got it all wrong because I’m not going anywhere. You'll be seeing me over in the XWF soon enough too Blizz because this year, I'll be the one winning Lord Of The Ring as well as inflating my win/loss record to epic preportions. Yeah, while your stupid ass is trying to make it seem like I'm down and out, I’m just planning what route I’m going to take back to the top. Right now my highway of success runs straight through you. Its kind of ironic isn’t it Blizz, you were born on a highway and now your standing on one with a mack truck headed straight for you. You can run all you want, you can scream all you want, hell you can even hide for all I care but at the end of the day, just like the day you were born, there will be an accident on the highway. At least that’s what I’ll tell the cops when they’re scrapping another pile of shit off of the Amityville Assassin’s highway of success. It's said really, I mean once I'm finished with you Blizz all the PWE fans will think back to our match remember how I proved yet again why I'm one of the greatest of All Time and they'll think about what you almost were.
The Amityville Assassin conceals the two baby eagles he took out earlier and locks up the trunks like they were before. He gets ready to leave and the camera starts to follow, he then he turns back to the camera and grabs it.
Amityville Assassin: Sorry, you can’t go where I’m going
The Amityville Assassin throws the camera to the ground, the next thing we here is POW! POW! POW!.......static.
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