Everybody Wants To Be A Hero

Opening Thoughts

No longer will evil deeds go unpunished, past, present, or future crimes against the black race will all be accounted for. On Solitary Aidan Collins was forced to pay for a small portion of the crimes that he has committed against the black community in the past but his debt is far from paid. Don't worry though I intend on making him pay his debt in full very soon but until then it appears that the PWE wants me to focus my attention Mr. Ric Tatum. Now when it comes to Mr. Tatum he barely pings my nigga senses so he probably hasn't committed any direct crimes against the black community that I have to make him atone for. However during his time here in the PWE he has done some things which are severely frowned upon by my African American bretheran. I mean I thought the PWE actually had standards unlike the XWF yet they continue to let a sleeze ball like Ric Tatum collect a paycheck. What more does the man have to do in order to get is much deserved pink slip? The guy is a known recycler, a known biter, and quite frankly, HE SUCKS! Some people say that impossible isn’t a word, its just a reason, for someone not to try. Well Tatum that isn’t the case here because you defeating Niggaman is impossible, you know those epic battles between Batman and Joker? Yeah, this isn’t one of those, this is more like the filler in between those battles. This is like Batman Vs Unnamed Mugger or Bank Robber #2, you just can’t win Tatum its that simple.

Fighting Crime

Our scene opens as we pan through the busy streets of downtown Detroit, cars zoom by, people crowd the sidewalk, players play, pimps pimp, and prostitutes... prostitute? The camera comes to a rest on the single greatest restaurant ever created, KFC! The camera zooms in on the KFC showing all the people inside enjoying the Colonel's secret flavor recipe of 11 herbs and spices, FINGER LICKIN GOOD! The camera now pans up the side of the KFC and brings us to the roof where we see our hero, protector of the black community, and thorn in the side of “The Man", NIGGA MAN! Nigga Man is looking out across the busy city with a KFC cup in one hand and a chicken leg in the other hand. Nigga Man finishes off his leg and tosses it into a nearby bucket full of bones. He then finishes off his drink and tosses that aside as well before beginning to talk.


Nigga Man: Slow night....

No sooner than those words came out of Nigga Man’s mouth a loud bang is heard behind him on the roof. Nigga Man quickly spins around only to see another super hero has infringed on his servalience spot.

Nigga Man: Who the hell are you?

Superhero: Your new sidekick

Nigga Man: Uh...what?

Superhero: I want to be your new sidekick!

Nigga Man: I don’t know about that man, you.... well.... pink.

Superhero: Of course I’m wearing pink, I’M BISEXUAL BOY!

Nigga Man: Riiight, I’ma go ahead and say no on that sidekick thing.

BB: Come on, every good superhero needs a good sidekick.

Nigga Man: That’s true, do you even have any special abilities?

BB: I can recite any show tune while sipping an apple-tini, I have a sphincter of steel, and I can seduce even the most masculine heterosexual.

Nigga Man: Sorry man, I can’t use you

BB: Why, because I’m black!

Nigga Man: The race card? You can’t use the race card on me, I’M NIGGA MAN! On the other hand... that was excellent use of race card..... fine you can be my sidekick.


Just then another crash is heard both Nigga Man and Bisexual Boy turn around to see yet another superhero.

Superhero: Hold it right there Nigga Man, I should be your sidekick not that homo.

BB: I’M NOT GAY!

Superhero: You sleep with men, you wear pink, you cross dress, YOU’RE GAY!

Nigga Man: Hmm, you do have a point, but who the hell are you.

Superhero: I am, The Masked Mariachi

Nigga Man: OH SHIT! Like Antonio Banderas with a billion guns inside your guitar!?!? I’m sorry bisexual boy but he’s got you beat.

MM: Actually it’s not like that

Nigga Man: Well if you’re guitar isn’t full of guns, what can you do?

MM: Watch this.

The Masked Mariachi starts strumming on his guitar and singing, Nigga Man and Bisexual Boy both start dancing for no apparent reason. When The Masked Mariachi stops playing they both stop dancing.

Nigga Man: That’s the most god awful music i’ve ever heard but I couldn’t resist dancing too it.

BB: Me either.

MM: That’s the point, when I start playing nobody can resist dancing, then when they turn their back I smash them over the head with my guitar.

Nigga Man: Is that all you’ve got?

MM: Well I’m also a ninja

Nigga Man: A Mexican ninja?

MM: EXACTLY! Nobody ever expects it.

Nigga Man: Fine, you can both be my sidekicks but what the hell are we going to call ourselves?

MM: Well Minoriteam is taken....

BB: Manage A Trois

Nigga Man and MM: NO!

BB: Whatever

Nigga Man: How about we work on this more while we patrol the city

MM: Sounds good to me

BB: Sure, why not

Nigga Man:I’ve been waiting to say this for a while now..... TO THE NIGGAMOBILE

The three of them quickly make there way off the KFC roof, hop into the Niggamobile, and speed off to fight crime.