The Masterpiece

Opening Thoughts

When I first came into this federation a few months ago you could tell who the top talents were in PWE at one glance. There was Tomoko Hanahara, Diabolique and then there was everybody else. Then I entered the PWE scene with a bang by laying both of them out as well as the rest of the champions at the time in order to put the PWE on notice that the most talented person on the roster was now me. Zach Rizza came into the PWE around the same time and tried to get into a dick-swinging contest with me, has anybody even heard from that jackass recently? Exactly, that’s what happens when you try to get into a dick-swinging contest with somebody who’s working with a tree trunk. Now getting back on track, the talent distribution has changed since when I first came into the PWE. When you look at the PWE roster now who stands out in your mind as the top talent? There is K-Money at the top of course and then the talent level drops way the hell off. Once you've fallen out of the main event spotlight and into the depths of darkness for what seems like eternity you hit the next level of talent in the PWE.



On this level you find guys like Mashara Tanabashi and R.W. Randolph. These are the guys who can emerge from the darkness of mediocrity for short periods of time but the intense heat of the spotlight eventually forces them back into the darkness, which they are so accustom to. Not so far under that level of talent is another level of talent containing the likes of Tsukino Meiou, Dylan Cage, and Hawiian Hardhead. These are the guys who dwell in the absolute darkest corner of mediocrity and if they ever pulled themselves into the spotlight they would probably burst into flame immediately like a Vampire when the sun rises. Yes.... I know those (Dan Fierce look away) gay ass vampires from the Twilight movies get all sparkly when they go into the sun but I refuse to even acknowledge them as vampires. The point I'm trying to make here is that NOBODY on the roster is equipped to face the harsh rays put off by the spotlight thrust upon you when you’re the top dog in a federation like PWE. I welcome the spotlight, I relish in it, I NEED IT!



When you look at R.W. Randolph you can tell that he's already carried the PWE Universal Title for far to long. I mean his neck was always red but now the intense rays of the spotlight are starting to cause his skin to blister and he is looking for any excuse he can to remove himself from it if even only for a moment. Even going as far as to use his son as an excuse to stay home from the February 24th edition of Solitary. Randolph with absolutely no due respect I can say….WHAT A FUCKIN BITCH MOVE! You knew damn well that I was going to retaliate on you for your little KY Jelly stunt and you didn’t want to walk into the arena knowing there was a huge target on your back. So you used your son’s illness as an excuse not to come to Solitary. Randolph I could care less if your kid was sick or not because that doesn’t matter, what matters is the fact that you used it as an excuse. Even if your kid was at home coughing up a lung tell me this Randolph, are you a doctor? Of course you’re not a doctor, look in the fuckin mirror man the only book you own is probably being used to offset the uneven leg of your kitchen table. With you not being a doctor and your wife already being at home to take care of your son and nephew why exactly did you have to miss Solitary? Oh yeah I already covered this…YOU’RE A FUCKIN BITCH!



I guess I should also clarify that when I said Randolph’s wife was taking care of his son and nephew…. it’s the same kid. Oh yeah, incest jokes, as if R.W. Randolph’s face wasn’t enough to insinuate he’s all about keeping it in the family. Incest jokes aside Randolph; you’re still a bitch. Come on, there really is no other excuse. Sure, you can try to spin it however the fuck you wanna but the unadulterated truth is the simple fact that you knew I was gonna fuck you up and you wanted to avoid that at all costs. MISSION NOT ACCOMPLISHED ASSHOLE! However in the process of fucking you up I got myself into a little trouble….


February 25th 2010 – Locked Up


Our scene opens as we see a bunch of guys sitting in a holding cell. As the camera pans around we notice that we have seen three of the men before. The first person we notice is K-Money; sitting next to him on the bench in the holding cell is his accomplice from the well-publicized R.W. Randolph attack. Sitting beside the accomplice is none other than the bisexual bombshell aka el Negro nympho aka your daddy, J-DUB! What is he doing, he’s sitting there with another man’s head in his lap. No its not what you think the man is sitting on the floor in front of J-Dub as he cornrows his hair. I also know what else you’re thinking; J-Dub didn’t get arrested so this makes absolutely no sense what so ever. Listen up Prick-O-Sore-Ass…J-Dub made me say that…. anyway tool bag listen up. When you ASSUME something you make an ASS out of U and ME, ASS-U-ME, got it, good. As R.W. Randolph would say, pay attention so I can learn you somethin.


K-Money: I can’t believe you got arrested?


J-Dub:Me? You can’t believe I got arrested? WHAT ABOUT YOU!!!!


K-Money: I got arrested because I beat the shit out of R.W. Randolph….AGAIN! You got arrested because I called you to bail us out of jail and you just had to grab the cop’s ass.


J-Dub: I couldn’t help it; I love a man in uniform.


Accomplice: Nigga you love a man in your asshole.


J-Dub: Sometimes…


K-Money: OKAY…. ENOUGH!


J-Dub: What?


K-Money: The last thing I wanna talk about right now is your sexual preference. Can you do me a favor and not be gay just until we get out of here?


J-Dub: Well that should be easy because I’m not gay.


Accomplice: If it looks like shit, smells lick shit, and tastes lick shit its shit right? Well if it likes dick then its gay! NIGGA YOU GAY! I can’t believe your sitting their with his balls so close to the back of your head man.


Jailed Man (sitting in front of J-Dub): I don’t care how gay the nigga is, look how tight these cornrows look.


J-Dub: Thank you Jamal, Ricky is just a hater


Ricky (Accomplice): Hate ain’t got nothing to do with it. K, when the hell is your lawyer getting here?


K-Money: Well he said he was flying down from D.C. when I called him and it’s been a few hours so he should be here any minute. Why, can’t handle a cell?


Ricky: Nah I’m good, this is my first time in jail, I guess its kind of like a rite of passage.


K-Money: No…no it isn’t. Prison isn’t a rite of passage, are you kidding me? Prison is modern day slavery plain and simple. I don’t mean this pussy ass county jail holding cell shit either; I’m talking about REAL prison.


Ricky: Yo man what you mean modern day slavery?


K-Money lets out a sigh then looks around the holding cell for a moment only to come to the realization that everybody was now looking at him. It appears as though all the other prisoners put their conversations on hold just to hear him speak. Seeing that everybody’s attention is now on him K-Money stands up and walks to the middle of the cell holding his arms out as if to “what”.



K-Money: I know everybody in here isn’t tryin to hear what I got to say, that’s funny; I mean that’s downright hilarious. See outside the jail cells, outside the streets, outside of the lower and some of the middle class nobody gives a fuck about what I’ve got to say. I don’t have a high school or a college degree so to them I’ll never be intelligent. Nah, I’ll always be a thug or a criminal or whatever other box they want to put me in. Thug, criminal, gangsta, drug dealer, druggie, they’re all boxes just like the one your in now. Don’t think just because they don’t have you in a cage physically that they don’t have you in one mentally. The reason all those haters out there try to write you off as a stereotype and move on is because that’s what they want you to be. They think if they drill the same thing into your minds over and over again then that is all you’ll ever be. DON’T LET THEM CAGE YOU!



Don’t let them keep you in a box your entire life then realize you had a billion opportunities to make something of yourself but you didn’t see it because they made you believe those opportunities weren’t there. I was sentenced to two years in prison for weapons possession charges. I ended up getting out after a year due to good behavior but they still had my body locked in a box for an entire year. It didn't matter though because I refused to let them affect my mind. While everybody else was doing those bullshit prison jobs that pay $3 an hour tops, I was either reading or working out. Not only was I strengthening my body but I was also strengthening my mind in the form of knowledge. Yeah that’s right, knowledge is power how cliché is that? But you know what it’s the truth. While all those other niggas was after that bullshit $3 an hour I was the one really bettering myself. Yeah those niggas had a few extra bucks when they got out of jail but they didn’t even realize that they had let themselves become slaves.


Those license plates they make in prison go for $50 a pair or more and it sure as hell don’t take an hour to make one pair. The furniture, the wallets, the handbags, all that shit gets sold on the open market and those companies make millions because instead of paying somebody minimum wage they sucker some convict into making their products for $3 an hour or less. THAT’S SLAVERY! Yeah, it’s slavery and nobody even realizes it so to anybody in here who could end up doing a real prison bid, don’t fall for it. It ain’t always about the quick money, sometimes you gotta invest in yourself to succeed. Trust me ya’ll, you invest in yourselves and you’ll never lose money.


All of a sudden we hear a clapping sound coming from outside the cell. As everybody turns their attention to where the sound is coming from the camera also pans in that direction. We a white man, about mid thirties wearing a designer suite and tie looking at K-Money and clapping.


Man: Now why the hell can't you make speeches like this all the time?


K-Money: Because, you make too many speeches like that and you end up getting shot or blown up, ask Martin Luther King and Malcom X.


Man: Eh, you've been shot before


K-Money:Stop tryin to get me killed and get me outta here.


Man: Oh yeah, your free to go, the guard said he be here in a second to let you out.


K-Money: How much did you have to spend to get me out?


Man: On you, nothing, R.W. Randolph didn't press charges so you're free to go. Your friend over there is a different story, R.W. Randolph is pressing charges on him, for now he's free to go on $5,000 bond, got a court date in a few days.


K-Money: So your gonna be representing him for me right?


Man: If that's what you want, you sign the paychecks, I keep people outta jail.


K-Money: That's what I like to hear, oh yeah, what about my stupid ass cousin?


Man: Apparently he could have left at any time


K-Money:WHAT!?!?!?


Man: Yeah, apparently he grabbed some cop's ass but the guy was gay so he put him in the cell as a favor.


K-Money turns his attention back to the El Negro Nympho and you can see the fire in K-Money's eyes as he stomps over to J-Dub. K-Money extends his arm and s loud SMACK!!!! Echoes throughout the cell block as K-Money slaps J-Dub right in the back of the head.


J-Dub: WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR!!!!


K-Money:YOU COULDA BAILED US OUTTA HERE AT ANY TIME ASSHOLE!!!!!


J-Dub:Oh...that....yeah well I've never been to prison before but I heard such wonderful stories that I wanted to experience it for myself.


Ricky: Nigga, YOU SUPER GAY!


K-Money: I can't believe you made us rot in jail just so you could fulfill your little gay ass fantasies, I'm telling you, I'm this close to disowning you.


The guard finally steps onto the cell block and opens up the door, K-Money and Ricky quickly leave the cell but J-Dub remains sitting, still cornrowing Jamal's hair.


K-Money: Earth to homo, are you coming or what?


J-Dub: That's what he said.


Ricky and K-Money look at each other disgusted.


K-Money: Seriously....


J-Dub: Of course not silly, I've still got to finish Jamal's hair and then Jerome, Darius, Angel, and Steve want me to do their hair too. I might be here for a while.


K-Money: I can't believe this, you want to stay in jail. I want a fuckin paternity test because ain't no way in hell your related to me. Come on Ricky, lets bounce.


With that our cameras fade to black as the guard re-locks the jail cell and K-Money and Ricky head toward freedom with K-Money's lawyer following closely behind them.



March 7th 2010 - Like A Puppet On String


Our scene opens as we see K-Money standing it what appears to be a hotel room. As we take a closer look at K-Money we can see that he has strings wrapped around one of his hands. As the camera pans down following the strings, once we reach the floor we see a little wooden R.W. Randolph puppet. The camera then pans out so that we can both K-Money and the R.W. Randolph puppet. Every time K-Money moves one of his fingers the R.W. Randolph puppet moves accordingly, K-Money stands there for a moment making the R.W. Randolph puppet do his bidding with a big grin on his face. Then finally after K-Money is done playing with his little puppet he pulls out a pair of scissors and cuts his the strings from his fingers. The puppet falls to the floor lifeless and K-Money lifts his foot and brings it down on the puppet breaking it into what looks like a hundred small pieces. K-Money now turns looks into the camera and begins speaking.


K-Money: Since becoming active again in both PWE and XWF I've been trying to figure out exactly what it is that is holding me back and keeping me from achieving the level of greatness I was at before my leave of absence. I’ve thoroughly exhausted all possibilities from the fact that I no longer have T-Money and Sewaside backing me up to the fact that it may just be a result of me pushing closer and closer to my thirties. Out of all of the things I researched the one that made the most since to me was the fact that weather it be in PWE or XWF there is nobody around to truly push me like there has been in the past. In the RMWF
I had Rebel right there nipping at my heels at every turn, in CCWF it was Scott Steiner who originally fueled my hall of fame career, and last but certainly not least in LAW and XWF my hatred for Christian Connolly would help make me a worldwide superstar. Rivalries are great, they inspire emotion that normal matches can’t and they bring out the best in everyone involved. Stop right there, let me repeat that, THEY BRING OUT THE BEST IN EVERYONE INVOLVED!


After seeing R.W. Randolph cut his promo this week is there ANYBODY and I mean ANYBODY out there who thinks that he is going to bring anything but his best to the ring? Yeah I didn’t think so, you can tell just by comparing R.W. Randolph’s Crowning Glory promo to his Clash Of The Champions promo that this time around R.W. Randolph means business. THANK GOD! I thought the asshole wasn’t going to conform the way that I wanted him to after my initial efforts only earned me a blast from a slime blower. After I kicked it up a notch and hit him where it hurt, he finally fell in line and did exactly what I wanted him too. R.W. Randolph is pissed the hell off, he said so himself, he is also very motivated to win this match so I know damn well that R.W. Randolph will be bringing nothing but his best down to the ring at Crowning Glory and I couldn’t be happier. I know some people are sitting there starring blankly at their television screens wondering why the fuck I would want R.W. Randolph to bring his best, apparently those people haven’t been paying attention to what I’ve been saying. Rivalries bring out the best in everybody involved, remember?


Well I know for a fact that my best will trump whatever anybody on the PWE roster can bring to the ring. The only problem is that throughout my career I’ve been notorious for playing to the talent level of my competition. Now when your fighting guys like Christian Connolly and Steve Jason being able to do that is a gift. Now when you flip things around and I’ve got to face guys like R.W. Randolph and Masaharu Tanabashi that gift becomes a curse. With Christian Connolly and Steve Jason I’m looking to surpass their talent level so when I get in the ring with them I’m not holding anything back. With R.W. Randolph and Masaharu Tanabashi, I know for a fact that those guys could never reach the level of talent that I’m at and what happens is I end up bringing myself down to their level even if its only for a single moment in the match, I flirt with mediocrity. That allows situations like what happened at Clash Of Champions where you have a guy who I’m supposed to beat end up shocking the world by having the match end in a draw. In all honesty having a draw against R.W. Randolph was probably enough to get me motivated to the point where a team of Steve Jason, Christian Connolly, Chuck Norris, and Raptor Jesus couldn’t stop me from claiming the PWE Universal Title at Crowning Glory. On top of that I know R.W. Randolph is bringing his best and I have the opportunity to end his career at Crowning Glory. DO YOU THINK I’MA DROP DOWN TO HIS LEVEL THIS TIME!!!!! No way, that belt is mine and if I have to end R.W. Randolph’s career to get it, then so be it.


Now before I move on to responding to what R.W. Randolph had to say I’ve got ask some of you a question, are you that dumb? I mean I think it’s a pretty straight forward question, the average American is a complete idiot, take into account that half of them are dumber than that and you realize there are a lot of brain dead mutha fuckas running around in the United States. I’m willing to best most of them are probably from the South but that’s just my personal opinion. Anyway let me assure all of you that I’m not a fuckin psychic and I didn’t read R.W. Randolph’s mind to find out where he lived nor did I travel around the Southern United States hitting every Wal-Mart in the hopes of stumbling across him. If you keep up with the news I believe Pro Wrestling Insider broke the story that PWE had released cameraman Roderick Jones because I paid him to get some of his friends over at PWE headquarters to give me Randolph’s address. Roderick, why don’t you say hello to the people at home.


We can see the camera being turned around; then right before our eyes is non other than released cameraman Roderick Jones. He waves his hand in front of the camera before turning the camera back on K-Money.



K-Money: Since the PWE decided to release Roderick I took it upon myself to give him a job filming my promos since he did such an amazing job last week when I was beating down R.W. Randolph. Getting past that I thought the video that was shown on the last Solitary would be able to speak for itself but sense you dense mutha fuckas don’t pay attention to minor details I’ll replay a piece of it for you so you can all smack yourselves in the foreheads for being idiots. Take a look.


K-Money points across the room where there seems to be a video paused on the television set. The video now beings to play.


The cameras cut to the outside of a Wal-Mart. It appears as though the camera is being held by somebody in the back seat of an SUV. The cameras focus shifts from the Wal-Mart to the people sitting in the front seat of the SUV. The driver appears to be a "police officer", in the passenger seat we see non other than "The Hardest Hustlin Man In Sports Entertainment" K-Money.


"Police Officer": Yo man I don't understand why we had to wait for this punk to leave, why the f**k ain't we just get him at his house?


Our camera now cuts back to K-Money who is more than ready to spew more hate at anybody who wants some.


K-Money: Think about that for a second people, hell, JUST THINK PERIOD! Why the fuck didn’t we just get him at his house? Well being a logical person if I were at home watching that, it would indicate to me that those people were waiting outside of somebody’s house and since the attack was against R.W. Randolph I would then deduce that they were waiting outside of R.W. Randolph’s house, AND WE WERE! I could have had Ricky who all of you know as the “fake cop” knock on R.W. Randolph’s door, handcuff him, then I coulda preceded to beat the shit out of him on his front lawn in front of his family. Yeah I coulda done that but I wanted to push the envelope just enough to light a fire under R.W. Randolph’s ass. Yeah I don’t like R.W. Randolph but he really hasn’t done anything to warrant me traumatizing his kid by brutally assaulting his father on their front lawn. On top of that, this is the South were talking about here, the neighbors would have probably come outside with shotguns as some down syndrome kid sat on his front porch and strummed the Deliverance tune on a banjo. I don’t know about ya’ll but I’d rather go to jail than have some fat ass redneck telling me to “squeal like a pig”.



Okay, time to address R.W. Randolph’s attempt at trash talk. Well Randolph at least this time around it appeared you actually put forth some effort instead of just saying whatever random bullshit came to your mind. There is a little problem with your promo this time though, Randolph it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that the main focus of your promo was to discredit me as being a mastermind and puppet master when it comes to mind games however I’ve spent the last month pulling your strings like I was Gary Rossington. See Randolph not only did I hold all of the cards from the moment Amerie Rodriguez made her bullshit decision to let you retain your title but I played them in such a way that you actually thought you were in control of your own actions. When I hit you with the paintball grenade that was essentially a little shove just to get a reaction out of you. At the start of the very next Solitary I went down to the ring and cut a promo daring you to retaliate, which I fully expected you to do. The only thing that surprised me this entire month was that I didn’t anticipate how “soft” your retaliation was going to be.



As soon as that happened I realized that I had my work cut out for me and that I was going to have to push the envelope a little more than expected to get you into the mind set that I needed you to be in for Crowning Glory. So of course I went for the thing that you have tried to protect for so long, your privacy. You thought that if you kept people from knowing where you’re from that you would always have a security blanket you could run to without worrying about your career following you. Well Randolph I made sure that your career came knocking at your door with a vengeance. I followed you from your home to Wal-Mart, speaking of that all this fuckin free publicity Wal-Mart has gotten over the last few weeks, they should be happy to cut you a nice little settlement check. As I was sayin, I followed you to Wal-Mart and proceeded to have my homie Ricky carry out a perfect recreation of Al Capone’s St. Valentines Day Massacre. Minus the Tommy guns of course, and this is where you actually thought that you were the most in control. I guess its kind of like that old saying; the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. I mean you said it yourself Randolph; you actually believed that you had my entire career in your hands. Excuse me for one second…



K-Money starts laughing hysterically, he falls to the ground holding his stomach as he continues to laugh



K-Money: Ahh, it hurts, it hurts, I haven’t laughed this hard since Ash Bombay told me he heard R.W. Randolph was actually good.



K-Money finally stops laughing long enough to compose himself and rises to his feet. He looks into the camera and continues R.W. Randolph’s verbal execution.


K-Money: Let me explain something to you Randolph, that little bullshit speech about your generosity might work on all the fans that have their heads shoved so far up your ass they will never see the light of day. It doesn’t work on me though because my eyes are wide open and I see EVERYHING. It feels as though I just had this exact same conversation with Tsukino Meiou about seeing the bigger picture. Yes Randolph in the eyes of the law you could have pressed charges on me, IN THE EYES OF THE LAW! However you WOULD NEVER have pressed charges on me Randolph, I’m willing to bet that the thought of pressing charges against me never even crossed your mind. Again we’ll go back to what you said in your promo because your dumb ass comments can and will be used against you. When talking about why you didn’t press charges on me you said “I could have just taken Sunday off. I am not that kind of person”. BINGO! WE HAVE A WINNER!



Yes legally you had the rite to press charges on me and it very well could have resulted in me being in jail and you getting Sunday off, but you’re not that kind of person! Even if you would have pressed charges Randolph are you going to sit there and tell me that the PWE wouldn’t have convinced you to drop them? While it’s a well-known fact that I’m the best PWE has to offer, I can’t wrestle myself. Randolph in the PWE’s eyes me wrestling you is the absolute best thing that could happen for the company which is why that dumb bitch Amerie choose not to book me this month in case some divine intervention occurred in my matches leading up to Crowing Glory and god decided to spare you from having your career ended. Look at the facts Randolph, not only are you the direct opposite of me but our fan bases are comprised of completely different people which is going to have the buy rates for Crowing Glory going through the roof.

All of a sudden "Somebody's Watching Me" starts to play from an unknown location and K-Money turns around to see a hundreds of stacks of of money with eyes looking at him. He just laughs and points to it as he continues to talk

K-Money: You see that Randolph? Thats the money PWE could have lost if they allowed you to be a bitch and press charges on me. Amerie Rodriguez is a dumb cunt but even she can’t be that stupid. To top it all off Randolph when you’ve got as much money as I do and you’ve got a rap sheet as long as mine you tend to keep a couple lawyers on retainer. Mine are some of the best that money can buy and no matter what you did I would have been in that ring Sunday. See Randolph you thought that you were in control and you thought that you had my career in your hands but in reality I have been in control the whole time. I’ am a mastermind Randolph and this past month has been a masterpiece but its nothing compared to the performance I'm about to put on at Crowning Glory.I'll see you in the ring Randolph.....FOR THE LAST TIME!!!!

With that our scene comes to a close as we draw that much closer to R.W. Randolph's career doing the same thing.