10:59 PM
Dorkvahkiin
*Our scene opens as we see Jim Forbes surrounded by darkness. For those of you that don't know, smarten the fuck up. Forbes is the writer, producer, and narrator for VH1's behind the music. Thats right we spare no expense over here, step ya hustle game up ya bummy ass niggas. Maybe one day you too could afford to put out elite shit! Jim Forbes now looks into the camera and begins to speak.*
Jim Forbes:Father, friend, drug dealer, addict, the best pound for pound wrestler of his time. The words that can be used to describe Kris "K(id)-Money" Carter cover a broad range. However his true rise to greatness has been shrouded in mystery and rumors, that is, until now.
*The camera now cuts to K-Money's father sitting in a chair looking into the camera. He finally gets his cue from somebody off stage and begins to speak*
Mr.Carter:I guess you can say that before Kris was even born I laid the groundwork for the monster that has been rampaging through the wrestling industry for over ten years. I was a legendary boxer in Mexico who came to America in search of fortune, fame, and recognition of my skill in the ring. The only problem was that by the time I made it here I was well past my prime and failed to make it big with any of the American boxing promotions. During my last boxing match in Detroit I was getting pummeled, absolutely brutalized. The only thing I could remember about the whole night was how amazingly sexy one of the ring girls was. I just had to have her, this girl had beauty that I had never seen before. I got her information from my promoter, called her up, and we really hit it off. After a few months of dating she was pregnant with Kris. After about eight months into the pregnancy I caused disaster to strike.I had mentioned to a few of my friends that I didn't think I could handle the responsibility of having a child and wished it would all just go away. Well they tried to make it happen for me, they cut down the women of my dreams in a barrage of gunfire. Although she died, the paramedics were able to save Kris. Consumed by guilt and grief I was comforted by my fallen girlfriend's twin sister, if only she knew the truth behind her sisters death. Not long after the death of her sister, we were married and Kris grew up thinking she was his mother, we thought it best not to tell him the truth. Our marriage didn't last however and when Kris was around seven I moved back to Mexico. His mother and I shared custody and he lived with each of us for six months out of the year. Most of his childhood he spent learning wrestling from a friend of mine, Fuerza Guerrera and his family.
*The camera now cuts to Fuerza Guerrera and Juventud Guerrera father sitting on chairs outside of a ring in an undisclosed gym. Fuerza is the first one to speak*
Fuerza Guerrera: Kris was hanging around my family's gym so much that he became like a son to me and a younger brother to Juventud. I knew he was destined to be great, he would sit in the gym non-stop and watch me train the older guys on how to perfect their craft. Even if I wasn't training him directly at first, he was doing the exact same thing, after a while he was telling them what they were doing wrong. That is when I knew I had to dedicate all my time and effort into making this kid great.
Juventud Guerrera: What else can I really say about Kris? Its not everybody that gets my father's stamp of approval and he did at a very young age. I still remember training with him and being frustrated that somebody so young could give me so much trouble when not many wrestlers my age could keep up with me. Even then he would let you hear about it too, I think Kris probably talked shit to nurses in the maternity ward. He's a born trash talker.
Fuerza: I think Kris had an alright early childhood. Although, Kris was always trying to get his fathers attention, usually by going out of his way to prove him wrong. He wanted to become a boxer and surpass all of his father's accomplishments which he probably could have done. But its like I told him so many years ago, he could be a good boxer but he's destined to be a great wrestler.
Juventud Guerrera: Yeah, well I've been hit with one of those well placed right hooks and they are nothing to play with.
*The screen now cuts to black for a moment as we hear the voice of Jim Forbes again*
Jim Forbes:It seems as though being a great wrestler wasn't the only thing Kris was destined for. It also seemed as though he was destined to have the women he called mother tragically ripped away from him.
*We now cut back to Mr.Carter*
Mr.Carter: To this day I remember getting a phone from Kris. At the time he was about 12 years old, by the time he got on the phone with me he was hysterical. Apparently, he came home from school to find that the women he thought was his mother was shot by mistake in a drive by shooting. She was just minding her own business carrying some groceries in the house and ended up being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Kris came to live with me full time but once the tragedy happened that was it. He didn't go to school, he fought with me over everything, started hanging with the drug dealers and it was a wrap. I seriously think the only time he came home was to sleep, the rest of the time he was either in the gym or out in the streets slangin that blanco. I had to do something to get him away from the crowd he was hanging with so I thought I could do that with wrestling. I got him to agree to fly out and be apart of Ted Diabise's wrestling school.
*The cameras now cut to the Million Dollar Man himself, Ted Dibiasie.*
Ted: By the time Kris had made it to my wrestling school he was pretty set in his ways. I would tell him to do something and he would come back with Fuerza said this and Fuerza said that. After a couple days of that I got him away from the other students. Once I had him in the ring just me and him, I told him to show me what Fuerza had taught him. It wasn't long before I had him on the mat choking the life out of him. From that day on he became a real student of the game, his mind was like a sponge and he wanted to absorb all the knowledge I had to offer him. He spent two years training with me on and off, the only problem with that was that while I was turning him into an amazingly well rounded wrestler. I couldn't alter what he was becoming outside of the ring, I don't think anybody could.
*The cameras cut back to Mr.Carter once again.*
Mr. Carter: He was out of control and I just couldn't handle him anymore so I sent him back to Detroit to live with his uncle. That might have been the worst thing I could have done because that just made everything much, much worse.
*The cameras cut to K-Money's uncle Jamal*
Jamal: Yeah, Kris's father sent him to live with me and straighten him out. Kris didn't wanna go to school so I sent him out in the streets with my oldest son Angel. Kris was so young but everybody knew who he was and knew not to fuck with him. He became legendary in the streets almost overnight because he was crazy enough to do things that nobody else wanted to even come close to. On top of that he was underage so if the cops busted him the worst he was getting was juvenile hall. Angel and Kris had the streets of Detroit in a strangle hold for years until Angel was killed, thats when it all started to change.
Jim Forbes:Join us next week to find out what exactly changed and to hear more never before seen interviews with friends and family of the one and only Kris "K(Id)-Money" Carter
*The camera fades to black*
*********************Start Commercial****************************
*Our commercial kicks off with a definition for all the white people out there. Seriously, why don't ya'll put down your light sabers for five minutes and step ya slang game up? I'm tired having to be a fuckin one man urban dictionary over here, damn cracka ass crackas.*
*We now hear the voice that you await each week more than the voice of god. Thats right, its your financial savior, Mr.Infomercial!*
Mr.Infomercial: As much as I would love to make jokes and have fun, this week's merchandise isn't about that. Oh no, this week's merchandise is meant to be a warning. A warning to all the swagger jacker's out there. We see ya'll and we ain't sayin any names *cough* Rage *cough* but ya'll need to loosen your grasp on K-Money's nuts before you end up a quadriplegic. Oh it can happen, K-Money once tea bagged Chuck Norris with so much force it put him in a coma! We understand what your trying to do, you see K-Money walking around like Swaggasaurus Rex and figure he has enough for everybody on the planet. Well he does, BUT YA'LL AIN'T GETTIN SHIT! Just stop it already!
Mr.Infomercial: That's right, for only $19.99 you can take it to the streets and let all these little faggots know that they need to quit it. We see what they're tryin to do and it ain't workin. Just because you can copy greatness doesn't make you great, it just makes you pathetic! Dial 973-409-
*The screen fades to black*
*****************End Commercial********************************
*Our scene opens as the cameras pull back from a large plasma television that we have apparently been watching the whole time. The camera now pans around the room as we see K-Money laying on the couch shaking his head at what he just saw. K-Money has one of his pants legs up allowing the cameras to see his scars. Scars due to the horrific result of a missed 450 splash early in his career which left one of K-Money's legs in shambles. You can see the painful expression on K-Money's face as he rubs the wounds in search of relief. We then see K-Money pull from his pocket two vicaden tablets, he stares at them for a moment before putting them away again. Its obvious that K-Money does not want to succumb to his past demons but his leg has good days and bad days, today is a really bad day. K-Money slides his hand into his pocket once more and this time pulls out a blunt. K-Money puts the blunt into his mouth lighting it up before taking a big hit. K-Money continues taking hit after hit of the blunt until there isn't anything left. He now rolls down his pants leg covering his scars and stands with his arms extended in a "what" stance before talking.*
K-Money: These bastards are trying to milk me for every ounce of ratings they can. Its okay though because at the end of the day THEY GOTTA FUCKIN PAY ME! It may take a little more effort sometimes than it does others but the fact still remains, HERE I AM! AND I'M STILL FUCKIN STANDIN! Its funny how at times it can seem like the whole world is against you but other times things just come together in your favor so well you'd swear it was scripted. Imagine my surprise when a couple moments after my promo aired for the special Friday Night Anarchy I get an important call from Christian Connolly. Was he already aware I was trying to double dip and earn a XWF title shot? Was he going to try to stop me? Nope, luckily C2 had no clue of what I was planning to do over in the XWF. C2 just wanted to tell me that Zach Rizza had to pull out of our PPV match due to chronic wetting of his pants, apparently he came to the shocking realization that he's still Zach Rizza and I'm still K-Money. Now C2 could have given me the PPV off and I would have been fine with that but instead he says he's adding me to the Vicious title match, how lucky can you get? I mean some people say its better to be lucky than good, well right now I'm no slouch in either department so please explain to me how the fuck ya'll are even going to attempt to stop me? Even though everything basically went as planned for Anarchy there was some unforeseen backlash to my actions over in the XWF. I expected C2 to flip the fuck out but as of now I'm still waiting on that conversation, what I wasn't expecting was that I'd be the spark of a PWE vs XWF war. I've been through these federation wars in the past watching as Dynasty Wrestling's Jon Page and Carver Championship Wrestling's Shane Carver both went to war with XWF's Jon Brown. The difference between then and now is that back then no matter who would have won the struggle for power the XWF would have continued to be great. Even though I've had my differences with all those men, all of those men were amazing owners, some of the best I've ever seen to be honest. The XWF doesn't have a great owner anymore, Jon Brown is gone and all of his replacements and suggested replacements have been average at best. The PWE on the other hand has a solid owner with C2. Now C2 isn't Jon Page, Jon Brown, or Shane Carver, but he's damn close. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that even though I've spent the better part of my career in the XWF, if you mutha fuckas want a war I'LL BE GLAD TO REPRESENT PWE! At least I know that as long as C2 is breathing he's going to do everything in his power to make sure that the PWE succeeds. Meanwhile when the chips are down Jason Cash suddenly vanishes for days at a time, is that the man you want to stand behind? Or are you guys putting all of your faith in James Raven? Get the fuck outta here man, do ya'll really wanna go to war without knowing who the fuck your general is?
*K-Money pauses for a moment as if waiting for an answer, crickets chirp for a few moments before he turns his back to the camera and starts walking away. The camera follows him as he walks down a hallway passing room after room. Seriously, K-Money's house has more bathrooms than most peoples houses have bedrooms. Most likely because he spends far more time shitting on people like Diabolique, C.H.A.D. and Gilmour than he does sleeping. K-Money finally arives at his destination and enters the room. K-Money plops down in a recliner off to the side as the camera pans around the room. Its a very large room filled with nothing but plaques and tropy cases, there are pictures of K-Money and title belts plastered all over the walls like wall paper. As he gives you time to put your eyes back in your head, K-Money points to all the titles and smiles. *
K-Money: See, this is exactly why ya'll don't want a war with me to begin with. It could be XWF vs K-Money and an army of oompa loompas and it wouldn't fuckin matter. Every member of the XWF roster would be leaking a river of choclate from their pants! You know what, I'm actually going to stop myself right there for a second. Before I keep talkin about all these other mutha fuckas I need to take a second and talk about me. For once I can honestly admit that I may be fuckin up by trying to capture a title in two sperate federations. All these matches week in and week out I'm gonna have to be in, I may be cutting my return sevearly short. We all eventually hit that wall where were so drained that we just can't do it anymore and need to take a few months or even years off. I don't know when I'm gonna hit that wall and at this point I don't care. I've always felt like I'm better than ANY superstar that has EVER stepped foot in a wrestling ring and I still feel that way now. My career is plauged with the fact that I've always been around Sewaside and T-Money so no matter what I do I get thrown in with the group but I'm better than that and my acomplishments are good enough to stand on their own. I'm going to add to them too, this time around I'ma do everything in my power to make damn sure that I've carved out my own place in history without having to be put in the same sentence as T-Money and Sewaside. The simple fact that I have demolished so many mutha fuckas that are considered as legendary and still get no fucking respect makes me sick. Then on top of that we've got all these little mutha fuckas taking me lightly like I'm some kind of jobber thats going to lay down and let them make a name for themselves off of me. I've been in the ring with so many "next big things", "future of whatever", "living legends", and whatever else these lame ass mutha fuckas wanna call themselves. The constant thing about all the assholes like that is that not one, NOT ONE! Has made a fucking name for themself by going to war with me because of the simple fact that I'M ONE OF THE GREATEST EVER! It takes a lot for me to lose, especially if jerk offs like Peter Gilmour, C.H.A.D. , and Diabolique run they're fucking mouths about how much better than me they are. I've been known to play down to my competition a little but I think everybody can be accused of that. Are you really going to put as much effort into a match with the Sentinel as you are if you have a match with The Brand? Yeah, me either, but I will tell you this. When assholes like Peter Gilmour, Diabolique, and C.H.A.D. piss me off, guess what, they get the full force of what I can do because they fucking deserve to get put in their fuckin places. The last time that I was this motivated was when I was booked against Christian Connolly for the XWF World Heavyweight Title. That match drained me so much that once it was over I didn't even want to defend the title so I moved straight from heavyweight champion to Anarchy GM. Unluckily for you this new "give me every title now" approach doesn't feel like that. Even after putting all the energy I did into my match on Anarchy last week I was still ready to step into the ring with Zach Rizza a two days later and would have glady done it if the PWE's PPV wasn't pushed back a week. To make a long story short, I may be fucking up going all out like I am but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. The only thing my new approach is giving me so far is something ya'll mutha fuckas don't want me to have, MOTIVATION! Peter Gilmour, you keep running your mutha fuckin mouth and I'll murder you where you fuckin stand. The only reason I haven't slaughtered your ass yet is because your entertaining, its like watching a comedy, EVERYBODY IS LAUGHIN AT YOU NIGGA! You know what Gilmour, thats all I got for you, you go beat somebody, ANYBODY! And maybe I'll give you the time of day......maybe. As for you C.H.A.D. , I owe you since you want to put your hands on me once the match is over. You started a war that you can't win and I'm about to release the hounds on your ass, you can take that however you wanna. That brings me to Diabolique.
*K-Money's head drops into his chest and he begins snoring. Some drool even begins dripping from K-Money's mouth running down to his chin. Once K-Money thinks he's gotten all the milage he can out of pretending to be asleep he whipes the spit from his chin and starts spewing venom once again*
K-Money: Every time I even hear your name no Diabolique it makes me tired, damn near comatose. That's how much of a fuckin bore you've become to me, this matchup lost its excitement the moment I beat you. Yeah, I'm sure you'll try to do everything in your power to excuse the fact that I've already beaten you recently but you can do whatever you want. Its not going to change the fact that YOU LOST TO ME! Call me every name in the book Diabolique, it doesn't matter because when it came down to it you were everything I said you were. An over hyped woman in need of dick hiding behind an emotional wall that would put the great wall of china to shame. Even if people were able to take anything you had to say about me seriously, what would that say about you? Your pretty much in a no win situation when it comes to me Diabolique because everything bad that you have to say about me makes you look that much worse because I BEAT YOU! I'm not sure but did I mention that we had a match that I won and you lost? Jesus I wish I could see your face right now, that little vein in your forehead popping out, your face red with anger and embarrassment. I can already tell that the fact that you lost to me is eating you alive inside, just look at your latest promos Diabolique, you couldn't keep my fuckin name out of your mouth. Meanwhile I'm over in XWF winning a battle royal, earning a shot at a title of my choosing and not thinking about you at all. This sort of thing actually happens to me a lot, what can I say Diabolique, I turn first rate wrestlers into second thoughts, that's just how it is. I can understand where your coming from though Diabolique because your used to being in the position that I'm in and not the other way around. My advice to you Diabolique, GET BETTER! Its not that hard, you don't want to get schooled by legendary opponents like myself then step your game up because as cliche as it is your just not on my level and I'm not positive I'd put you on the level below me. Your somewhere between aight and good, you still gotta go through great and elite before you'll even be able to see the level I'm on. Let that penetrate your hard exterior and enter into your jello pudding center, hold it there for a while and let it fester a bit, the wigger is underestimating you. By the way honey, check your races a little better next time, my mothers black, my fathers Mexican which gives me the skin tone the ladies love. On top of that my wife is white so my kids are all mixed up, my house is like a fuckin we are the world record but let me get back on subject here. Diabolique if you don't win this match your gonna have a lot of explaining to do because if I win at the PPV there isn't much else I can do to destroy your credibility. I came into the PWE, layed you out, and spray painted your title. How dare I do such a thing, that's blatantly disrespectful. Then I ruin your attempt at revenge by knocking you the hell out for my one and only win here in PWE, granted it was my only match but still. Then I would have gone into the PPV and handed you another loss at my hands and left you beaten with no title and no excuses. The pressure is all on you here because you do not want to lose two straight matches to be, trust me Diabolique, you do not want to go down that road. It starts out as two then all of a sudden your hemorrhaging losses to me and before you know it you end up having lost around six matches to me. Sure your career could still end up being good but do you really want to be known as my bitch for the rest of your life? Besides.......You know what, fuck it, you mutha fuckas are spoiled these days, I'm tired of doing all the work. How about ya'll use your imagination and originality for once? Right here is where the Christian Connolly joke goes, think up your own.
*K-Money stops for a moment as he waits for the views to come up with their own joke. He taps on his watch as he grows impatient until he finally blurts out.....*
K-Money: I beat that mutha fucka like Chris Brown beat Rhianna, I beat beat that pussy up like a cheap hooker, I BEAT HIM LIKE JAMES RAVEN BEAT PETER GILMOUR! Damn it! Its just to easy to pass up! Anyway,Diabolique its not even like you can say it was a fluke, I didn't pin you, I left you laying on the arena floor unconscious. Forget pinning you for the three count, the referee could have counted to 100 but your ass wasn't getting up. The problem with you Diabolique is that your all about appearances while I'm all about results, this is another one of those areas where Christian Connolly can be your best friend because he knows all to well. In our cruiserweight champion vs world heavyweight champion matchup in XWF C2 absolutely dominated every aspect of the match from the time the opening bell sounded. The only problem, when the chips were down it was yours truly who was able to pull off the victory and that is all that matters. If I wanted I could have your reputation, I could go out of my way to prove to everyone just how brutal I can be but why? Diabolique your supposed to be the mistress of destruction, the queen of pain, suffering, and brutality or some lame ass nickname like that. Either way, I'm pretty sure that at the end of our match, my Ka$h kick which practically decapitated you is what had the fans chanting "holy shit". While your the one going out of your way to try to inflict that extra measure of pain I'll just be sitting back waiting for you slip up because as you saw in our last match it only takes one mistake and I'll be walking away with a victory and this time, your Vicious title.
*K-Money points to one of the trophy cases that has an empty spot. The name plate infront of it reads PWE Vicious title, over confidence? Nah, there is no such thing, its just plain Confidence.*
K-Money:If you learned anything at all from our last match Diabolique I hope its the fact that everything else aside, I'm no slouch inside that ring by any means. People see the clothes and the bling and they automatically assume that all I can do is brawl, that's it. I'm sure Masaharu Tanabashi will prove my point whenever he drops his promo, while its no secret I can hold my own in a street fight, I'm much more than that. What ya'll think I didn't take to heart every word Ted Debasie and Fuerza Guerrera had to tell me? I may be arrogant and whatever else you'd like to call me but I'm no idiot and I'm no one dimensional jobber trying to make a living off of a gangsta gimmick. This is who I am, the person you see in these promos is the person your gonna get if you approach me when the cameras are turned off. Inside that ring you ain't gettin a technical wrestler, you ain't gettin a brawler, and you ain't gettin a luchadore. Oh no, that would be too easy, why would I limit myself like that? You see when your in the ring with me your not getting somebody who fits into any of those three categories because I'm such a fuckin hybrid of those three styles that I deserve my own fuckin category. Not only that, I spent most of my childhood in Mexico where wrestling is a fuckin religion. I got my first wrestling lesson when I was five years old so essentially I've been training for matches like these my whole life and 90% of the time I know what your going to do before you do it and I know the perfect counter for it. *cough* Ka$h Kick on Diabolique *cough* Last but not least, when all else fails, when the skills don't matter, when my knowledge of the game doesn't matter, when the difference between winning or losing all comes down to who wants it more, YOU STILL WON'T GET THE BEST OF ME! You may think that you have that warriors mentality, you may think that you have that killer instinct, and you may think that when the game is on the line with only a few seconds on the clock your gonna make the winning shot like Michael Jordan. The only problem with that theory is that when you go up to make that shot, I'LL BE THERE TO BLOCK IT! I have the same hunger to win as I did in my very first match. I feed it and feed it but it never goes away, it never subsides, its never satisfied. Its like the plant in the little shop of horrors, no matter what I do it just won't stop. So you see I don't just win because I'm good, I HAVE TO! You all thought I was all about the money, well I guess you can say I am because the money, the fans, the fame, it all comes with winning.
*With that K-Money gets ready to stand up and leave the room bringing thid interview to a close when he suddenly remembers he almost forgot something.*
K-Money:Oh damn, I almost forgot about Masaharu Tanabashi, what can I say Tanabashi, the only way you could be less of a factor in this match is if you decided to stay home. We both know that its not going to happen but hey, its always an option. On a serious note Masaharu Tanabashi I hope you step your game up big time this week so that I can humiliate you and everything you represent. I already said that I grew up with Lucha Libre and although my style has evolved so much beyond that it still plays a big role in what I do inside that ring. It would be my pleasure to prove once and for all to every idiot in Japan what country the best wrestling really resides in. Its really crazy Tanabashi, I don't think we could possibly be more opposite. You have spent years working for Christian Connolly and even give him credit for turning him into an international superstar, meanwhile I've battled C2 a million times over the years and the only thing I give him credit for is being my bitch. Tanabashi my question to you is do you believe that you are a better wrestler than C2? Your going to have to be if you hope to stand any chance at all in beating me because C2 has only managed to score one single victory against me, JUST ONE! What makes it even more pathetic is the fact that it was a stable match and his team had to cheat. The odds just seem to be too stacked against you Tanabashi, you don't matchup well against me and you don't matchup well against Diabolique so I really have no earthly idea of any positives you could possibly create for yourself going into this match. You could always sell yourself hope based on the belief that myself and Diabolique knock each other unconscious leaving you to collect the win. But if you believe that Tanabashi I've got a bridge in Brooklyn I'd like to sell you. Now, I'm done, thats it.
*K-Money gets up and leaves the room but the cameras don't fade to black, they follow him. K-Money heads back to the same room he began his promo in. K-Money plops back down on the couch just in time to see Masaharu Tanabashi's promo come on. As the promo rolls K-Money sits with one fist up against his cheek while he thumps the fingers of his other hand on a nearby table. The more Tanabashi's promo progresses the harder K-Money thumps his fingers on the table, harder and harder until Tanabashi finally mentions K-Money. K-Money stops thumping his fingers and sits up making sure to catch every word Tanabashi has to say about. K-Money is just waiting for Tanabashi to slip and say the wrong thing about him but it never happens. Mere moments after Tanabashi mentions K-Money his promo is coming to an end and K-Money looks pissed! K-Money cracks his knuckles, neck, and back before jumping up off the couch. K-Money stares angrily into the camera for a moment giving thought to the devastating hate he is about to unleash until finally.........*
K-Money:REALLY TANABASHI!?!? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!?! I put the XWF on notice last week that the blatant disrespect I've been getting means I have to bring the Amityville Assassin out. Then what do you go and do Tanabashi? The guy who has actually beaten Diabolique recently barely gets a fuckin mention in your promo. Meanwhile you spend 90% of the time trying to prove a point to that dumb bitch, she isn't the one you need to be worrying about asshole, I AM! The saddest part about it is that you essentially reacted just as I said you would, you brought out some lame ass disses I've already heard a billion times before. I could stop right there Tanabashi and would have already roasted you but since ya'll wanted the Amityville Assasin to come out, HES OUT! What that means is that its not enough to knock somebody down, I gotta kick em while there down. Its not enough that I already bodied you Tanabashi, I gotta lay the chalk down. There are still bullets in the clip and no matter how bad I've already filled you with holes, I ain't stoppin till the clip is empty.Tanabashi I did my homework on you and I noticed that little mind fuck your trying to pull.on everybody. Half of your fuckin move list is made up of drivers, even your finisher. NIGGA EVERYBODY KNOWS ASIANS CAN'T DRIVE! Case in point, Tanabashi I've seen your promos and you can't even be trusted to drive your point home! Tanabashi in these promos and in the ring I'll fuckin rip through you like tsunamis rip through your country. This is child's play Tanabashi, I live to bomb on people like you, well in your case let me rephrase that. I LIVE TO ATOMIC BOMB ON PEOPLE LIKE YOU! Thats right, I went there and your not going to do shit about it because I've already done what you wish you could do. I knocked Diabolique the fuck out with nothing more than a well placed kick. I didn't need a weapon to win Tanabashi, all I needed was wrestling knowledge and my killer instinct. But wait, I'm not dedicated to my craft right? Then please tell my why it only took me one match, ONE FUCKING MATCH! To beat Diabolique when before me everyone in PWE were essentially her bitches. On top of that Tanabashi when I came into the PWE I knocked every champion here the fuck out and didn't ask for shit. I did it because where I'm from if you want respect you go up to the biggest baddest mutha fucka on the block and you knock his ass out. I didn't ask for this match either asshole because I could care less about the titles because with or without a belt I will always be a champion. But I expect everything to be handed to me right? GO FUCK YOURSELF TANABASHI! I've never had to and never will have a damn thing handed to me, that is a trait of the weak. When I see something I want Tanabashi, I take it. I think I'm a superstar because I am Tanabashi and after our match if you still don't think that its true I'd be glad to give you a title shot under your terms. You want a Ironman Match? Steel Cage? Ultimate Submission? It won't matter Tanabashi because I'm just flat out better than you are. You see Tanabashi while I fall into a class of wrestlers who thinks they ae better than everybody else. However I think that way because I've proven it time and time again. Meanwhile Tanabashi you fall into a class of wrestlers who have a "holier than thou". You personally think your better than everybody else because you live and die by your wrestling style and your beloved rules. Like I told Diabolique Tanabashi, your about show while I'm about results. Sure the show you put on is totally different from the song and dance Diabolique does but all of it doesn't mean shit at the end of the day. When its all said and done only one thing matters, WINNING! I'll leave you with this Tanabashi since your people are supposed to be good at math. Add this one up for me, 1 of the greatest wrestlers of all time plus 2 jokes who will never be great in this industry equals......... You tell me.
*With that the camera fades to black ending the promo for real this time*
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